I don’t post on here often, but when I do it’s because I have the urge to write and throw my thoughts out into the abyss.
I know there are people out there that read these mindless posts, and I really appreciate all those people.
Personally, I use this blog as an outlet for when I’m feeling creative, have the urge to share a new part of my life, or just plain bold.
Today I just want to rant, talk, chat, share?
Here’s my life update.
Today is August 9th, 2020.
I am currently sitting on my couch at 6:23 PM with a yellow face mask on, watching some hockey.
That’s right, I’m a hockey person now.
Anyone who knew me whilst I was in high school knows that I was totally anti-hockey. This was largely due to me being force to watch the Canucks at home.
I would routinely root for the opposing team to get on my families nerves, and I enjoyed it.
I love the Canucks.
I have their schedule connected to my phone schedule.
I am essentially a bandwagon-er, and I do not give one shit.
Go Nucks! (Do people call them that? I’m still new to this…)
Recently I’ve been working, working, and working some more.
I have three jobs, two of which I physically go in for and one that I can do anywhere as long as I have my phone.
I feel tired, but I don’t feel like I can give up any one of these jobs. I need to work so I don’t focus on the fact that I feel like I’m in a life rut.
Recently I quit a job that I’d been working at for over a year. I enjoyed the job itself, but there were other factors that resulted in my deciding not to go back after the workplace opened up after the initial wave of Covid-19.
My three current jobs are all new. Which means I don’t feel thoroughly connected to any of them.
My life rut has resulted in many restless nights where I lay awake and imagine the life I want for myself. I have a job opportunity in the works that could change my entire life and I’m scared to want it too much because I’m afraid to lose the opportunity and face the disappointment that would bring.
It’s a job that I’ve waited my entire life/career for and as much as I think I have a really, really, really good shot at getting it, I force myself to think of an alternative result.
I’ve always had an “everything happens for a reason” philosophy when it comes to my job and the opportunities I receive, and so far that has been true for me.
I’m just not sure if I’m ready to find out what will happen with this one.
I’ve also reignited my weight loss journey this month. It has been easier due to my busy schedule and I feel great about it 99% of the time.
I lost my passion for the gym when I was forced to stay home and I’m hoping that I can find that passion once again now that I am able to visit the gym again.
Feeling my body get stronger and seeing the muscles in my legs and arms grow is such an exciting feeling and I cannot wait to hit that point again.
I am privileged to be able to work three jobs.
I am privileged to have incredible job opportunities.
I am privileged to be able to choose which foods I want to eat.
I am privileged to afford an expensive gym membership.
I am privileged to live a life that many do not have the opportunity to live, and I am trying to focus on that fact when I get down about things that I am INCREDIBLY privileged to experience.
That is something I can focus on.